averytinyparticle | Snowblind Inbox

Sometimes I think that's true. But then bad thing happen anyway. Bad things always happen to everyone I'm around. They get killed by an anomaly, or someone else. It's so stupid--it's stupid! I hate it. I hate everything here. I hate this...this town...

[He has to put the tablet down for a second to rub his eyes, to hold the angry tears back again, so Tifa gets a nice view of the ceiling for a moment as he gasps and hiccups.]

Do you know? When Mr. House got beat up? Everyone was stealing his medicine so I went and got it for him from the pharmacy. And that was the same time that Handsome Jack strangled that girl. Mr. Steve wanted to go after him, and he wouldn't let me leave on my own. I just want...I just wanna be older, and stronger. I want to be able to help people but I'm not good for anything at all. All these things happen and all I can do is...i-is nothing!

[Even just hearing him trying not to cry is enough to make her chest ache, but she listens quietly to his outburst, and stays silent even after he finishes. She doesn't want to sound patronizing or make him feel like she's coddling him, so she goes for honesty, instead.]

Quark... I think we all feel that way, even the older and stronger ones. I know it's hard, and I know it's easy to feel helpless, but... There are things you can do, too. You don't have to be able to fight to help the people you care about.

But wouldn't it at least be a little easier if I could?

[He breathes heavily as he struggles to get a grip, no matter how impossible it seems.]

Everyone's running down there to take care of it...what am I supposed to do?

I don't know if it makes it easier.

[She used to think it would, that she could protect the people she cared about, but that's never really worked. She wasn't able to protect anyone in Nibelheim, or Aerith, or Hiro or Jim or Cloud.]

When House comes back, he'll probably want to see you, right?

[It's probably terrible of her to say "when", when realistically there's no way of knowing if House will revive. After Cloud and Jim had died, though, sometimes the possibility that they'd be back was the thing she needed to keep pushing through her grief.]

...I don't know.

[The admission makes him feel small. And all at once, at least for a moment, his anger dissipates into something hard and cold and sad in his stomach.]

I found something I want to give him...so that might make him want me around for a little while.

[She doesn't want to tell him that House definitely wants him around, because she has no idea if that's true. She's also painfully aware that he doesn't want to be treated like a child, and so she hesitates.]

What did you find?

[If he was standing, he'd be shuffling his feet. As it is, Quark coughs into his elbow, relieving a tickle in the back of his throat.]

Binoculars...I thought...'cause he was making some kinda microscope...

[Tifa nods, giving him a hopefully encouraging smile.]

Oh. He mentioned that to me, too. I'm sure he'd be very happy if you gave them to him.

Yeah...I hope so.

[If he ever gets the chance.]

Quark, I know it's hard, but... Everything will be okay. I promise. You're strong, right?

Thanks, Miss Tifa.

[A pause. It feels like he should say something else, no matter how worn down he feels.]

Wherever you are, stay safe, okay?

I will. You stay safe too, and let me know if you need anything, alright? Even if it's just to talk.

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